Beef_Tongue

Oh, man.  I went to Philadelphia for Thanskgiving and was stuck using Twitter in short lumps on my brother-in-law’s computer and missed the birthday of a real sweetie.

Happy Birthday to you @linajk! 

I love this woman.  We’ve followed each other for quite some time. She’s witty, pretty and wise.  And, she has a new house.  That’s a nice gift, indeed.

Enjoy your birthday and your new abode.

Keep tweeting.  I love seeing your avatar on one of my tweets.  I hope you enjoy looking at the top of my head. =Þ

BT

Here I am on a Saturday morning (3:15 AM) dealing with heartburn from the chicken wings we had for dinner.  The beer and whiskey knocked me out at 9:30 and I woke up with cottonmouth.  My wife is sleeping soundly in our bedroom, her sister in the guest room.  So, here I am.  And, all I can think about is Twitter.

What is this addiction?  I’m not even reading tweets.  I’m just here.  I go back and forth, refreshing Favrd and Favstar, hoping one more avatar shows up on either.  It’s such a good feeling, but it shouldn’t be.  There should be something better.

Still, I love it.  I want it to last forever, but know it won’t.  One day all this will be gone and those of us spending so many hours tweeting, reading, starring and making new friends, will have to find something to replace it.

Twitter reminds me so much of AOL back in the days of dial-up.  I hung out in a chat room named “Men Wit Minds.” My names were BakeMyFish, BeefTongue, BeatnSquid (I let a friend of mine use it on Twitter, now I can’t), LOLMyArse, XmasAtKmart, TonyToetag, BagaDonuts, OnlyOneCannoli and others I can’t even remember right now. 

The chat room was like the Twitter stream.  It was filled with people from every walk of life.  There were lawyers, doctors, accountants, actors, writers, housewives, etc.  They were all funny without the stars.  LOLs were the stars.  The Leaderboard hit was an LOLOL! (yeah, the exclamation point meant you really made them laugh). It was a very good time. 

Then before I realized it, the whole thing was gone.  I’m not even sure what happened. The room just ended.  Other chat rooms weren’t the same.  Too many were devoted to people just trying to get laid. So, I left it and went back to real life. I have a good life; a nice home, great wife (no interest in the Internet), cute dog and we really want for nothing.  Yet, I have this Twitter thing. 

I was introduced to Twitter in February.  I signed on and thought it was stupid. I didn’t give a damn what people were eating or that Ashton Kutcher was picking up his laundry.  I quit right away.  Then I came back to try again.  I hung out and started trying to pick up followers, because I was told getting as many followers as possible was the thing to do.  It started reminding me of the chat room, so I  just blurted out things trying to be funny.  People seemed to enjoy it.  I know I sure as hell did.   

One day @SusAnimate mentioned Favrd to me.  She told me I should sign up, so I did.  But, I still wasn’t sure what it was all about. Until the day the first Cock showed up in my stream.  I didn’t know people were starring anything.  I don’t even remember the tweet, but I do remember it was starred by @LucyRcardo, @grossefemme and @catdog03.  It was my first LOLOL! The obsession began.  It was a whole new world for me.  A reason to love Twitter for something other than telling people what I’m having for dinner.

There you have it.  I’m here writing about this and you’re reading it.  Enjoy Twitter while you can.  I know I will.

BT

I follow back more than 25% of the people who follow me.  If I unfollow anyone it’s usually because they just tweet way too much.  For example, I unfollowed a girl the other night because she tweeted 27 times in 20 minutes.  That doesn’t even seem possible, but she did. I guess to her it is truly a chat room. Either that or she’s of the opinion her words are so profound everyone needs to read them and nothing else. But, I don’t use the unfollow as some sort of penalty or as a smack down to let the person know I am not interested in them.  During the making of lists and changeover to a different name, I unfollowed some people unknowingly and hopefully this has been remedied.  So, at the moment I am following 588 people and it’s not easy to give attention to everyone.

To me Twitter is a humor forum.  I like my tweets to be starred and I like starring tweets.  That’s really it.  Since I was cut off from using Twitter at work, I’m limited to reading the tweets of those I follow within a time frame of less than an hour before the 7:00 PM EST reload of stars we are allotted for Favrd (unlimited for Favstar).  Then after I post my star-seeking tweet just after 7:00 PM, I go back to the task of reading and starring tweets of those I follow.  I also spend about an hour in the morning before getting ready for work.  Much of my time is spent on Favstar, because it’s easier to target the people I follow and view tweets of some I don’t.

I’m generous with stars.  I don’t think they are really made of gold.  Some people hoard them as if the tweet they reward has to be worthy of a Pulitzer nomination.  Either that, or they just don’t care whether or not they star anyone because they are above the clerical task of star administration. If the post makes me chuckle, I feel it’s worthy of starring. 

If you follow me and feel I am not giving your stream enough attention, I apologize.  Twitter has become a second job and the task is daunting at times.  I try to keep it fun and in a sense, thank you for giving my ”updates” attention and stars.  Occasionally I overlook a star-worthy tweet simply because I didn’t get around to it.

I would love to follow back everyone who follows me.  When I follow someone it feels good that they follow back.  I’m having enough trouble following 588, so to follow back everyone is just not possible.  I do catch the posts of some people who I don’t follow back and I give stars even though the follow is not mutual.  I’m sure I miss some good tweets of people and hopefully they understand.

I read this article regarding the possible demise of Twitter.  If this goes away, a good source of entertainment for me will be no more.  So, I need to get to work and do some starring.  I’ll try to get to you as soon as I can.

Thank you.

BT

P.S. Please disregard any poor writing evident in this post.  I wrote it quickly with little editing.

Thanks.

When I see a picture of @bliccy the first thing I notice are her eyes.  They say the eyes are a window to the soul.  Based on those beautiful orbs, there is a kind and wonderful soul filling the body of Bliccy.

I wasn’t sure what to get you, so I thought it best just to post one of your pics and let everyone see what I see.

Happy Birthday, Nicole.  Enjoy everything about this day.

BT

I know my reputation is that of a down and dirty guy, but I am not a purveyor of pornography.  I like dirty pictures and movies just like any other guy or girl (who might not admit it).

Since I started posting on Tumblr, I’ve been following Art or Porn and I have to say they are the classiest I’ve ever encountered.  Understand, this is pornography; some of which is very graphic.  But, it is as artsy as anything out there.

I haven’t purchased anything and it doesn’t appear they are selling anything.  If you like the naughty stuff, check them out.  If you are offended by pornography, forget I mentioned it.

I spent some time today on their site, and I am quite impressed by their approach.  Maybe you will be, as well.

Thank you.

BT

I just blurted a pretty silly tweet.  You guys are starring the hell out of it.  For that I thank you.

Underlying this tweet is your warped sense of humor, which makes me love you to no end.

I can be as dirty and out of bounds as I want and you guys star, RT and LOL to your heart’s content.  I love bringing out the naughty in you.

Thank you.

BT

I just found out @Lorisays has a birthday.

Wow.  I think she’s beautiful, sexy, sweet, kind and funny.  You can’t build a robot with all those qualities at once.

I’m so happy I found out.  With limited Twitter, I’m sometimes missing things, and I would have felt awful if I missed Lori’s birthday.

Have a Happy Birthday, Lori.  I wasn’t sure what to get you, so I just figured you’d like a hot guy. 

Love you.

BT

Today I gave a sincere compliment to a young lady in an email.  I didn’t even think about it.  It was just on the tip of my tongue (so to speak).

I really don’t know her that well.  We’ve followed each other for awhile and I accidentally unfollowed her at Favstar’s page, so I sent an apology.  Since she unfollowed me back thinking I was upset, I was unable to DM her.  I got her email address from her Tumblr page.  I just wanted her to know I didn’t mean to do it.

She wrote back everything was fine and we are refollowing each other.  In my email I complimented her avatar, as she is very nice looking.  I had no idea she was having a bad day and the compliment was meant as nothing more than an observation.

She commented later in the tweet stream that it lifted her heart. Damn, I feel good about that.  Just a kind word to a person and they are truly happy.

Try it.  Say something nice to someone.  Make their day.  It is very rewarding.

BT