Check out the very funny @RandiLawson.

AN ACTUAL CRAIG’S LIST PERSONALS AD

To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown Savannah night before last.

Date: 2013-07-27, 1:43 am. E.S.T.

I was the guy wearing the black Burberry jacket that you demanded that I hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend, threatening our lives. You also asked for my girlfriend’s purse and earrings.  I can only hope that you somehow come across this rather important message.

First, I’d like to apologize for your embarrassment; I didn’t expect you to actually crap in your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket.  

The evening was not that cold, and I was wearing the jacket for a reason.  My girlfriend was happy that I just returned safely from my 2nd tour as a Combat Marine in Afghanistan.  She had just bought me that Kimber Custom Model 1911 .45 ACP pistol for my birthday, and we had picked up a shoulder holster for it that very evening. Obviously you agree that it is a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head … isn’t it?!

I know it probably wasn’t fun walking back to wherever you’d come from with crap in your pants. I’m sure it was even worse walking bare-footed since I made you leave your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. (That prevented you from calling or running to your buddies to come help mug us again).

After I called your mother or “Momma” as you had her listed in your cell, I explained the entire episode of what you’d done. Then I went and filled up my gas tank as well as those of four other people in the gas station, — on your credit card.  The guy with the big motor home took 153 gallons and was extremely grateful!  I gave your shoes to a homeless guy outside Vinnie Van Go Go’s, along with all the cash in your wallet. [That made his day!]

I then threw your wallet into the big pink “pimp mobile” that was parked at the curb…..  after I broke the windshield and side window and keyed the entire driver’s side of the car.

Earlier, I managed to get in two threatening phone calls to the DA’s office and one to the FBI, while mentioning President Obama as my possible target. The FBI guy seemed really intense and we had a nice long chat (I guess while he traced your number etc.).

In a way, perhaps I should apologize for not killing you … but I feel this type of retribution is a far more appropriate punishment for your threatened crime. I wish you well as you try to sort through some of these rather immediate pressing issues, and can only hope that you have the opportunity to reflect upon, and perhaps reconsider, the career path you’ve chosen to pursue in life. Remember, next time you might not be so lucky.

Have a good day!

Thoughtfully yours,

Semper fi,

Alex

This is our new baby, Savannah.

You have to see this.

fredericktweetup:

We are dedicating our Tweetup to Kae Moore. Kae and I started the Frederick Tweetup last year. She was so proud of how many people showed up. She toughed it out, carrying her oxygen with her to the bars. She wasn’t about to get shown up by the youngsters.

Sadly, she will not be there this…

fredericktweetup:

At this year’s Tweetup we will do the same as last year. We’ll meet at Bentz Street Sports Bar, where we pick up our name badges, have a few drinks and maybe something to eat.image

Then we head downtown for a great Pub Crawl. One of the nicer places is Cellar Door, where we’ll be entertained…

fredericktweetup:

We have a block of 40 rooms at Comfort Inn Red Horse out of 69, which means we basically take over the whole hotel.

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The hotel is across the street from Hard Times and within walking distance of Downtown Frederick. It’s also within walking distance of Denny’s for the late night…

fredericktweetup:

FREDERICK TWEETUP - MEET THE COMMITTEE

by @YesitsAl

This is our Frederick Tweetup Committee.  If you haven’t already met us, you will. 

A group of fine people.

fredericktweetup:

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We are quickly getting a number of Comedians to do the Comedy Night at Hard Times on Saturday, November 9th.

So far we have @_LUMP, @Twisty_Monster, @MyHairyLife, Randy O’Calypse and @Adar79Angie. @TraylorParker wants to do the show, but he can’t confirm until…

fredericktweetup:

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If you were at our Tweetup in October, you know something about Frederick, how to get there and what a blast you had on those two nights.

Frederick is in Central, MD just 41 miles north of Washington, DC and 44 miles west of Baltimore. Two airports, Dulles and BWI, serve the city….

fredericktweetup:

So for the next Frederick Tweetup this November, I was thinking about making better use of the big screen on the wall they had at Hard Times. I plan to create either a collage slideshow of the Avis of everyone in attendance that will rotate all night, or maybe something more simple like having a…

ACCOMMODATIONS II

fredericktweetup:

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Another good spot is Best Western because it is equal distance between both Friday Night’s Pub Crawl and Saturday Night’s Comedy Show.

Prices are great and they have free breakfast.

ACCOMMODATIONS

fredericktweetup:

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If you are staying in Frederick, we recommend the Comfort Inn Red Horse.  It’s across the street from the Saturday Comedy Show and there’s a diner next door.  Late night stumbling to your room is easy.

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